I recently received this question via email: "I understand that one of the spiritual works of mercy is to admonish sinners. My question is: Aren't we supposed to forgive and forget? Does 'admonish' mean 'to reprimand'?"

I understand the questioner's point, that for a "work of mercy" admonishing sinners can seem decidedly unmerciful. Let's take a closer look.

In Catholic tradition, there are seven spiritual works of mercy:

1. Counsel the doubtful.
2. Instruct the ignorant.
3. Admonish sinners.
4. Comfort the afflicted.
5. Forgive offenses.
6. Bear wrongs patiently.
7. Pray for the living and the dead.

So yes, one important act of charity or mercy that we can do is to "admonish sinners." But what does that mean?

"Admonish" comes from the Latin verb monere, which means "to warn." Admonishing sinners does not involve dragging up past sins for which one has already repented and been forgiven. Rather, it involves--with utmost gentleness and kindness--calling people out of their sin to a new life in friendship with Christ.

Here we again see the maxim "Love the sinner, hate the sin" play itself out in everyday actions. We want to "warn" others in appropriate ways that serious sin can lead to damnation, without coming off as being condemning or judgmental. It's not easy, but that's the balance we must maintain as Christians.

When we truly love someone, we desire their good. The greatest good we could desire for someone is their eternal happiness with God in heaven. If we know someone is living in a state of grave sin, the best way we can love them is to lead them to turn away from sin and to restore their right relationship with God and neighbor. In fact, it's a failure in charity not to try to help them, perhaps out of fear or human respect.

Too often we "enable" or "tolerate" instead of "admonish."

But again, it's all about charity. If we "admonish" in a way that beats people over their heads, then we're only making things worse. It's analogous to disciplining our children: When it's done out of love for their own improvement, then it's a very good thing. When it's motivated by frustration, anger, or some other negative emotion, it's a very bad thing. And I think it's often the case that our motives are somewhat mixed.

The same holds true when it comes to admonishing sinners. We must always strive to purify our motivations and to be patient and loving in the execution, peaceably entrusting the outcome to the Lord--giving Him, so to speak, room to operate, without providing unnecessary stumbling blocks.

Much more can be said about this. A really wonderful book on this topic (I'd go so far as to put it on my "top ten" list of spiritual reading favorites) is Fr. Lovasik's classic, The Hidden Power of Kindness, published by Sophia Press. I dare you to take this "kindness" test.