After reading my "Give It Up!" post, John and Sheila Kippley sent me a very kind note. As many of you know, they have been pioneers in the field of natural family planning (NFP) since the publication of Humanae Vitae in 1968. They suggested another form of abstinence this Lenten season:
"A form of self-denial that may be especially appropriate in our culture is abstinence from the marriage act on Fridays . . . The Church and the entire world are in great need of prayers and sacrifices for a rebirth of chastity, for a stop to contraception, and for a culture of life. Friday abstinence from the marriage act can be such an act of prayer and sacrifice.
"The primary text for Lenten abstinence comes from the prophet Joel who was calling his people to fasting and repentance: “Let the bridegroom go forth from his bed, and the bride out of her bride chamber” (2:16). This call to penance is read each year at Mass on Ash Wednesday. The fact that the Church proclaims this call to penance each Ash Wednesday is a good indication that it is something to be taken to heart by all of us in some way or other.
"If you practice this form of penance, don’t be surprised if you find abstinence for spiritual reasons a bit more difficult than abstinence for the practical reason of avoiding pregnancy. The latter form of abstinence can and should be offered up as a living prayer and penance, but you might find there is something even richer in abstaining for purely spiritual reasons. Some couples abstain from Ash Wednesday through Holy Saturday. Others may break the fast on Laetare Sunday or on other Lenten Sundays, but still trying to do penitential abstinence in the overall spirit of Lent. Couples seeking pregnancy may want to use the fertile time or times of Lent to seek pregnancy, more consciously giving of themselves and accepting all that having another child entails. These are personal decisions.
"The decision to abstain from the marriage act as a form of prayer and penance must be a mutual decision. Spouses have a right to engage in the normal marriage act, and one spouse should not decide unilaterally that he or she is going to be more spiritual and thus refuse the rightful request of the other spouse.
"'The divine law binds all the Christian faithful to do penance each in his or her own way' (canon 1249). We don’t ordinarily tend to think in these terms. The purpose of these paragraphs simply has been to remind us of the opportunities the Church’s penitential days and seasons provide for us to offer abstinence from the marriage act as a form of prayer and penance."
The above is taken from Natural Family Planning: The Complete Approach, pp. 128-29. This NFP manual and other outstanding resources and assistance are available free online at www.NFPandmore.org.
For those interested in learning more about Humanae Vitae, My Catholic Faith Delivered will be hosting a new four-part study of that landmark encyclical by Catholic Scripture Study, with video presentations by Fr. Frank Pavone. Stay tuned for more information!