Many men today think a “holy hour” means being able to watch the second half of a game without interruption, and that a “retreat” is 36 holes of golf interspersed with appropriate beverages. In countless parishes I’ve visited, the women far outnumber the men in the pews (and in the sanctuary). Meanwhile, try getting a seat at the local sports pub now that football season has begun.

There are countless things competing for men’s time and attention and, frankly, we don’t always do a good job of prioritizing, of putting first things first. And what could be more important than bending the knee before Our Heavenly Father, the source of all fatherhood (cf. Eph. 3:14-15)?

In this regard I suggest that we take a lesson from St. Joseph this Labor Day. More...

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the finalization of the adoption of our youngest son, Raymond. Filled with thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father, I will once again tell Raymond’s remarkable story. For those of you who have already heard it, tough! More...

One argument offered in support of same-sex marriage is the assertion that children raised by same-sex couples have no more problems than children raised by their married biological parents. Aware that a major impediment to their agenda is public concern about the welfare of children raised by same-sex couples, gay activists have encouraged researchers to “prove” that their thesis. They offer these "findings" to the courts in marriage cases.

The majority of these studies do not compare children raised by same-sex couples with those raised by married biological parents, but with children raised by single mothers or in other less-than-ideal circumstances. Further, many of these studies have been shown to be externally or internally invalid. And in some cases, researchers simply ignored their own findings and skewed their conclusions to fit their agenda.

Persons with same-sex attractions (SSA) are human beings. It’s natural for them to want to experience the joy of having children: to love, to nurture, to leave a legacy. There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to become pregnant and bear a child, or a man wanting to experience the joy of seeing his son grow into manhood or his daughter develop into a beautiful woman.

Yet children are not trophies, or a way to meet one’s personal needs, or props to help forward an ideology. More...

I used to listen to a talk radio host who would say, “In the department store of life, sports is, after all, the toy department.” Surely that’s a useful message for us “weekend warriors.”

But let’s take that comment a step further. In the department store of life, is our faith merely a department--and a “boring” one at that, such as housewares or women’s clothing? If so, then what about the rest of the store? Are there parts of our life that our faith doesn’t affect?

I think it’s very easy to compartmentalize our day. If we’re not careful, however, this could lead to our assessing our spiritual development based solely or at least excessively on explicit religious observance. In other words, we might look to whether we “got in” our Rosary, chaplet, holy hour, or whatever other devotion(s) we set out to do each day, as if these admittedly good things were ends in themselves.

Or we might pride ourselves on our “orthodoxy,” but then check our faith at the door in certain areas of our lives, such as in our business dealings or even our highway driving. Yet deep down we know that religious observance and doctrinal orthodoxy, to be authentic, must inform the totality of our lives. More...

I have an unusual family background. My late father and his wife had eleven children. In the 1950s, his wife died of cancer, and so my dad left his sporting goods store in Kankakee, Illinois, and moved most of the family to Southern California. Not too long after that, he met and married my mother.

A decade earlier, my mom’s husband had been killed in World War II, leaving her with two babies.

I am the only child of my parents’ marriage. Even so, I’m very much the product of a large family. I don’t even try anymore to stay on top of the number of nephews, nieces, great-nephews and great-nieces, and great-great-nephews and nieces I have, because they’re so numerous and dispersed.

From time to time while growing up classmates would ask me, "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" I would innocently respond that I was the youngest of 14 children. However, when the questioner learned more of the details of my family history, he would inevitably ask the follow-up question: "So how many real brothers and sisters do you have?"

Being fairly good with numbers back then, I did the math. Since I had thirteen half-siblings, I responded, "Six and a half."

As I grew older, these questions began to bother me. Perhaps they reminded me of the disturbing reality that the two step-families my mom and dad brought together were never fully integrated into one family. These questions also revealed the emphasis our society puts on biological paternity and maternity apart from the realities and responsibilities of family life. To all my siblings--whom I love--I am merely a half-brother. The term is biologically accurate, but being a "half" never quite sat well with me.

It’s A Girl!

Many years later, I was doubly blessed. I married a wonderful woman who already had a daughter named Brenda. I didn’t want to force the situation, but I truly desired to adopt Brenda and make her in every sense my daughter. How thrilled I was when she came to me and told me she’d like to be adopted. More...

One of the hallmarks of the Church in our age is the renewed emphasis on the role of the laity. Drawing upon the rich, traditional teaching of the Second Vatican Council (1962-65), the Church reminds the laity that all of us are called to holiness by virtue of our Baptism, and we are all called to play an active role in the apostolate, serving as leaven in the world.

All that’s well and good, but saying it doesn’t make it so. All Catholics--and not merely those who are called to the priesthood and/or religious life--need a sound Christian formation to be able to respond generously and well to their own personal vocation in Christ. We need ongoing catechesis. In short, we can’t expect the fruits of discipleship, such as growth in holiness, apostolic zeal, and so forth, unless we truly are disciples.

In recent decades the Church has called the family the “domestic Church.” This is a powerful image that suggests something more than a once-per-week catechism class and maybe a crucifix on the wall. More...

Each year in June we have the beautiful feasts of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary, with the heart symbolizing the immense love of Our Lord and His Blessed Mother for each one of us.

As Catholic husbands and fathers, we might also consider meditating on the heart of St. Joseph, the third member of the Holy Family. His heart is an apt symbol of the love he contributed to the mystery of the redemptive Incarnation that was unfolding under his watch. And now that same masculine vigilance and love, once focused on his beloved wife and the Christ child, is bestowed on each one of us, as he is universally invoked as the patron of the Catholic Church.

At the outset of St. Luke’s Gospel, we learn that part of St. John the Baptist’s role in preparing the people for the imminent coming of the Messiah was to turn the hearts of fathers to their children so as to make ready for the Lord a people that was truly prepared for Him (Lk. 1:17). In St. Joseph, we find a father whose heart is already exquisitely calibrated.

His heart is always in the right place, and God was able to accomplish great things through this eminently just and faithful man.

St. Joseph’s fatherly heart jumps off the page throughout the biblical accounts of Christ’s childhood. Let’s take a brief look at just one such familiar episode: the Finding of Jesus in the Temple (Lk. 2:41-52). 

“Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up according to custom” (vv. 41-42).

These verses may seem unremarkable at first blush, though as St. Joseph is carting the Holy Family from place to place in the first century we can be certain these journeys were much more onerous than a leisurely afternoon drive in the air-conditioned minivan. But even in his fidelity to the Jewish practices of his time, St. Joseph gives us a most timely lesson on the value of men being observant Catholics. Too often we find at Sunday Mass mom and the kids, but where’s dad? St. Joseph challenges us men to allow our love for the Lord and zeal for our faith to set the tone for the entire family.

Real men go to church. More...

I originally wrote the following article for Lay Witness magazine in 2002, shortly after the adoption of our son Samuel. Since today marks the eighth anniversary of his adoption, and also because we're now on the threshold of Father's Day weekend, I thought I would reprint it here, with some minor updates.

Maureen and I were married on February 2, 1991, during the Gulf War. At that time, people were tying yellow ribbons everywhere as a reminder of our loved ones who were away at war. We all needed reassurance during this time of conflict and uncertainty.

The homilist at our wedding told us that our marriage needed to be a yellow ribbon, a witness to life and love amidst the hatred, despair, and death we saw around us. We were newlyweds when the Gulf War ended, and of course now nation is still at war in that region, as well as embroiled in the ongoing, complex war against international terrorism.

Meanwhile, Maureen and I have quietly lived our marriage vows for over 19 years. We remember Pope John Paul II telling us over and over again that civilization passes by way of the family. We are far from perfect, but we have taken seriously the challenge we received at our wedding--a challenge issued to all Christian families--to be joyful witnesses to Christ in the midst of the world.

The Lord has abundantly blessed our marriage with children. We have six beautiful children (they take after their mother) and 14 godchildren. [And now one grandchild.] We’ve welcomed at different times many others into our home, including our elderly parents, siblings, and college students. I thank the Lord every day for the singular gift of our family, our little domestic Church.

Yet we’ve also endured times of sorrow. Maureen has had several pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many families have experienced miscarriages and know what a silent, difficult cross they can be. After all, here we are in a contraceptive society, in a “culture of death,” willing to accept new life, only to have the child taken from us before we can even hold him or her. We’ve entrusted these little ones to our merciful Father, trusting amidst the tears that these tragedies are part of a larger, more glorious plan.

Family life isn’t a contest in which the players with the most children at the end of the game win. Yet Maureen and I wanted to be as open as possible to the Lord’s blessing. We have always considered adoption at some point, and after some of the pain from the miscarriages subsided, we realized in 2001 that we had room in our hearts and our home for another child. So we took the next step . . . 

We didn’t have the money to go through an expensive agency. Further, we weren’t looking for a “designer baby” with all the “right” qualities. We simply wanted to be open to accept whatever gift the Lord would want for us.

We decided in February 2001 to receive 36 hours of “training” through the county to become certified as foster/adoptive parents. We also obtained a home study, a comprehensive report prepared by a social worker concerning the suitability of an adoptive family. We figured that by going through these at times onerous steps, we would be ready to act quickly should a child become available.

We had our home study sent to various Catholic Charities offices in our region. We expressed a willingness to consider any age, race, gender, or special needs, but we hoped for a younger child so that there would be a better chance of forming good attachments. We made ourselves available, and then we had to wait. More...

With Father's Day on the horizon, I thought I would share with those of you who are fathers or who know someone who is (!) this excellent article by James Stenson, posted at the Catholic Education Resource Center.

Stenson's "Advice for Fathers" is a list of things not to do, drawn from the school of hard knocks. Yet, I found the article to be very positive and encouraging. To adapt a popular commercial tagline,"kids come at you fast." It's tough to push all the right buttons as fathers in our confusing, fast-paced family lives. I found Stenson's article to be really helpful as I continually make midstream adjustments that are so necessary when it comes to raising godly children.

Here are a couple excerpts that I really needed to hear (again):

"Don't underestimate your children. Have high ambitions for their swift, step-by-step growth into maturity. We all tend to become what we think about, and kids tend to become what their parents expect of them. Even when they sometimes let you down and you have to correct them, make them understand that you see this as just a blip along the way. You have no doubt, none whatever, that they'll someday grow into excellent men and women. You're proud of them, confident in them. Always will be."

"Don't forget to praise your children, and be specific about it. Kids need a pat on the back from time to time. We all do. Give praise for effort, not just success. Teach the kids this adult-life lesson: because success depends on effort, then effort is more important than success. You always appreciate when your children try."

There are many other insights in the article. For even more, readers may be interested in Stenson's book Father, The Family Protector, which is available here.

As the pastor of my domestic Church, I must admit that we don’t have any pews or bells. We do, however, have areas set aside in our home for prayer, and we have adorned our home with crucifixes, Catholic art, holy water fonts, and the like, which serve as helpful reminders of our family’s Catholic identity. Even so, it’s not the externals that make the Church--domestic or otherwise--so much as the lives of faith, hope, and charity that are fostered on the inside.

Pastors of parishes are often presented with programs and ideas, and while they want to say yes, they need to scrutinize the proposal to make sure nothing harmful to the faith is allowed into the parish.

Similarly, we have to be careful about what we allow into our homes. I’m not suggesting that we adopt a bunker mentality, but are we good shepherds, truly committed to protecting the souls that have been entrusted to our care? We might talk a good game when it comes to what’s going on at the parish, but do we apply the same level of scrutiny to what goes on in our own homes? Are we careless in letting in influences, often under the guise of entertainment, that are harmful to our family’s life of faith, hope, and charity?

Families may take different approaches to the Internet, television, cell phones, and the like. But whatever approach we take, we must be clear in our resolve to protect the faith of our children from thieves and marauders that want to steal it from them. Catechism, no. 2088 provides the standard, and I find it quite sobering:

“The first commandment requires us to nourish and protect our faith with prudence and vigilance, and to reject everything that is opposed to it.”

Let us renew our personal commitment to defend the faith and innocence of the next generation. And that commitment starts close to home--in fact, in the home.

On the occasion of the 50th anniversary of the birth control Pill, it's eminently reasonable to assess its effect on our culture. In the following article, Fr. Matthew Habiger, O.S.B. of NFP Outreach calls into question the qualifications and neutrality of the Pill's proponents. Even more, Fr. Habiger points out some of the ways the Pill has harmed today's men and women.

For those wishing to learn more about the Church's teaching on birth control and natural family planning (NFP), My Catholic Faith Delivered has an outstanding four-lesson online course entitled "Celebrating Humanae Vitae." The course was produced by Catholic Scripture Study, with dynamic video segments by Fr. Frank Pavone of Priests for Life.

Here's Fr. Habiger's fine article: More...

Yesterday, I received this chilling message via email:

"A friend of mine needs major PRAYER. My friend Bill from college has left his wife and two sons who are 2 and 4 years old and has decided that he is now homosexual and is pursuing that lifestyle. This is an obvious and in-your-face spiritual battle. He seems to have full knowledge of his actions and yet I believe he is very emotionally distraught. If you could send out a message for prayer and fasting and support of all kinds that would be great. Even though he is making HUGE mistakes I still care tremendously for him and am very worried for his family and for his salvation."

So, message for prayer and fasting delivered.

Some gay activists might say that "You wouldn't make such a big stink about this if Bill had run off with a woman." Well, yes I would. Despite greater societal acceptance of extra-marital relations, it would still be the grave sin of adultery, with all the spiritual and familial ramifications that come with it.

When it comes to homosexuality, though, we get hung up on things like "sexual orientation," "gay rights," "nature vs. nurture," etc. But Bill's case illustrates the inconvenient truth that engaging in homosexual activity is a choice, and an evil one at that.

Okay, that's all well and good, but what we do about it. I'd like to suggest four things: More...

As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, I want to invite you to come back with me to Mother’s Day 1970.

I had just sat down to have a light supper with my widowed mother before returning to the rectory. My mother was grieving because in less than a month she would be losing her “bambino.” You see, my archbishop had given me permission to serve as a missionary in Peru for five years, and I would be leaving within a month. 

The fact that I was 35 years old and a priest for ten years was trumped by my imminent departure for the Peruvian Andes, where I might meet with an untimely end—or so my mother imagined.

While having our soup, mother continued her complaining to the point that I blurted out an unkind remark. She started to cry. 

“Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t know what possessed me. Please forgive me.”—“Oh, I’m not crying about that.”—“Well, why are you crying?”

She continued: “I’m going to tell you something that I’ve told no one except your father. It was during the Depression years. The social worker came by to see how things were going. I told her that everything was fine except that I had missed two of my periods in a row.

“‘Oh that’s very bad news, Signora Rita! I’ll come back on Thursday afternoon and take you to see this doctor, and he will make your period come.’

“I told her that I could never do that . . . that I would rather die first.

“‘What! You won’t cooperate! Where’s your husband?’—He’s out looking for work.—‘Over two years without a steady job, and you won’t cooperate! Three young mouths to feed already, and you won’t cooperate! When your husband returns, talk this over with him. If you don’t cooperate, we just might take those benefit cards away from you. I’ll see you Thursday!’ ” (Two comments: Being the fourth child in the lineup, I was that “period.” And the cards referred to by the social worker were the one that entitled the family to receive a large bag of dried beans every two weeks, and the other was for an occasional delivery of coal during the winter.) 

My mother continued: “Two hours later, your father came home all frostbitten. As I helped him off with his coat, I told him that the social worker had stopped by.—‘What did she want?’—I told her that I was expecting. She became very upset. She said that she’d be back on Thursday to take me to this doctor, who would make my period come. If I refuse to go, they might take our benefit cards away.

“Your father stood there for the longest while without saying a word. Finally, he spoke: ‘Very well, let them! Let them have their cards back! The Lord will provide.’ ”

At that point, my mother got to her feet and knelt down beside me. “Mom,” I insisted, “would you please stop this!”—“No! Let me finish!

“O Jesus, forgive me!  I didn’t want him then because of all our problems. And now I’m afraid of losing him? Forgive me, Jesus, please forgive me! You take him for your poor people in Peru. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you!”

On two occasions of my life, I stayed awake all night long. One was a case of food poisoning in Peru. The other was Mother’s Day 1970. I tried to fall asleep, but to no avail. For the first time in my life—on learning how close I had come to not seeing the light of day—I fully realized what a precious gift life is.

Throughout the night, scenes from my boyhood intermingled with images of the heroine I had for a mother: “Hey, Victor, your Mom sure talks funny. I could hardly understand her.” Gee, I wonder why my Mom can’t talk nice English like all the other mothers can. “No, I could never do that! I would rather die first!” And she only went as far as the third grade in a backward school in Southern Italy. “Is that your grandmother?” No, that’s my Mom.  Her hair turned snow white when she was 30.  She had me when she was 35. “At two months, all the major organs are formed and functioning. All that is required for birth is time and nourishment.”—“No, I could never do that! I would rather die first.”

I would like to close with the inspiring words that Cardinal Mindzenty penned many years ago about motherhood:

“A Christian mother cannot claim the honor of having built Notre Dame Cathedral. She need not. She has built something more magnificent than any cathedral—a dwelling for an immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby’s body. The angels have not been blessed with such a grace. . . . God joins forces with mothers in performing this act of creation.  What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this—to be a mother?”

© 2010 The St. Augustine Catholic

Bishop Victor Galeone was ordained in 1960 as a priest for the Archdiocese of Baltimore. After his tenure as a missionary in Peru (it turned out to be for eleven years, not five), he returned to Baltimore where he remained until 2001, when he was appointed by Pope John Paul II to be the Bishop of St. Augustine, Florida. He graciously gave us permission to permission to reprint this article, which appears in the current issue of his diocesan magazine. 

This morning after Mass, I was praying privately with my five year-old son Raymond. I was kneeling on one knee and Ray was sitting on the other knee. I was helping Ray to develop the habit of praying to Jesus in his own words.

So I whispered, "I love you, Jesus." He then very reverently whispered, "I love you, Jesus."

Then I whispered, "Jesus, I trust in You." Raymond followed suit and sweetly whispered, "Jesus, I trust in You."

I was very proud of his effort to pray well. Plus, he was especially well behaved at Mass this morning. So I whispered, "Good boy."  Then Ray looked toward the tabernacle and whispered, "Good boy."

I whispered, "Rayyyy, I was talking to you!" He cheerfully responded, "Okay," and then he bounded back to the church vestibule. Mass (and prayer time) is over, time to go in peace. More...

Last week I received this question via email: "I recently read that Pope John Paul II taught that even if a man looks lustfully at his wife he commits adultery in his heart. My conclusion from this is that any thought of sex whatsoever would be considered adultery (assuming thought of sex = lust). Therefore every thought of sex in one's entire life is a sin against the 6th and 9th commandments. Is this a correct interpretation?"

Before answering this specific question, I walked my questioner through a few fundamental principles. More...